Small Steps Towards Getting "Unstuck"

For as long as I can remember, I have never been a procrastinator; whenever, there is a task to achieve, the anxious perfectionist in me always wins out. Except for that one time in 4th grade when I forgot about the log cabin diorama assignment that left my angry father driving to the grocery store at 8 PM the night before it was due for some pretzel logs and chocolate frosting...sorry about that dad, but you saved the day with that project and I learned my lesson.

With that being said, when it comes to self reflection and growth, I am the busiest avoider there is. I distract myself with tasks that don’t feel fulfilling. Next to my bed is a stack of non-fiction books by authors that I know will educate and inspire me, yet when I have the time, I turn to unfulfilling tasks that keep my brain occupied but my heart vacant. My top avoidance culprits: shopping, Netflix, reality tv, eating and cleaning. While some of these tasks are both useful and necessary at times, they don’t help me grow...they keep me stuck, right where I am. They allow me to avoid feeling or listening to what’s going inside my soul, keeping me rooted in my spot instead of moving towards my freedom. It’s as if I avoid these feelings, they will somehow disappear or just get reabsorbed into my consciousness without having to do the dirty work of actually feeling them.

But what happens when we avoid listening to our hearts and allowing ourselves the space to feel what’s going on inside us? I believe it keeps us stuck right where we are. I don’t want to be stuck. I want to learn and evolve, but at the same time, it feels overwhelming to do the work that will help me move forward. It is so easy nowadays to distract ourselves; we have so much so readily available to monopolize our attention that it takes intention and determination. It is accepting that it’s going to be messy and feel uncomfortable a lot of the time but doing it anyway.

Sometimes moving toward freedom can feel like an insurmountable task that requires perfect effort and dedication, but it’s when I think like that, that I avoid. I have to remind that nagging perfectionist in me that it isn’t about moving mountains overnight...the work is slow. The work can look like sitting silently in my room for 5 minutes and naming the emotions I’m feeling. The work can look like spending 2 minutes listing all the things I’m grateful for. The work can be listening to a song and feeling the music move through me, free from all other distractions. The work can be reading one chapter out of that stack of books next to the bed. I have to consciously remind myself that movement takes effort but that even small forward momentum is better than none at all. I need to stop “busying” myself with those tasks that leave me feeling stuck and take some time each day to grow.

If you can relate to this, what could you do today to help move you away from being stuck towards your more desired self? How can you make time for that in your day? And if we do make that forward progress, regardless of how small or slow it may be, we must remember to acknowledge and celebrate it. No effort towards healing and growth is ever wasted, too small, or too insignificant.